Apr
3
2010

Privileged

I have lately been doing some thinking about privilege.  Privilege, by definition, is something that is taken for granted.  If you are living with privilege in a particular way, it is difficult to notice just how much it impacts your life.  Or I should say, it is difficult to notice what you don’t have to go through because of your privilege.

People often talk about racial privilege or gender privilege and maybe even sexual orientation, religion, or socioeconomic status.  However, I realized that these are just the tip of the iceberg.  I was shocked when a friend introduced me to what she described as “fat culture” and how people don’t usually think about how overweight and obese people are marginalized by society.

It was after this realization that I decided to make a list of every privilege I know of.  The way I figure it, everyone has privilege in some way or another.  Of course, there is nothing inherently wrong with that, but I believe people should be more aware of the privilege they take advantage of.  That was the intended purpose of the list.

In the list, I identify what I believe to be many or most of the human privileges that exist and provide an example of it in action.  Of course, depending on where you live, the amount of benefit a person with privilege receives from being in the majority will vary.  It entirely depends on the stereotypes that exist, the diversity of the community, the attitudes of the people, etc.

And though this is an imperfect list, I still encourage you to take a look through it and identify each privilege you take advantage of.  Remember that each category has different implications.  For instance, with weight, if you identify with either extreme (ie. extremely overweight versus pencil thin) you can become marginalized.  However, in the case of sex, being of one extreme (ie. being male) will grant you the privilege in most cases.  As I mentioned, it all depends upon where you live and what communities you are a part of.

Continue reading Privileged →

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Mar
12
2010

Guest Post: Finding Space

The following is a guest post by Ben Klempner, author of Effective Family Communication.

Space.  It’s a commodity these days.  We don’t typically think about it, but it is.

When I was a student at the University of Montana, there was a lot of talk about space.  We spoke of important issues such as open space, closed space, creating more space, and the impact of limited space on our minds, bodies, and spirits.

Currently I am living with my wife and children in an apartment building. Space is limited.  The kids don’t have enough space to run around, play, climb trees, and get into trouble without getting into trouble.  Where I grew up, there was a beautiful cherry tree in the back yard.  During a few weeks every spring she had the softest, most beautiful pink leaves I have ever seen.  Her branches were just the right size for a young boy to climb them.  I used to climb to her top branches where I had space and freedom.  I was able to scale that tree in moments.  One day I decided I didn’t want to go to school.  I ran outside and climbed my cherry tree before any grown-up could catch me.  I was safe on the tree. Her branches provided me all the space, comfort, and time I needed to be safe.

On another occasion I was being chased home by a group of bullies.  Before they could catch me I climbed my cherry tree.  Safe on her branches, the citified kids were too terrified to climb up (not to mention I would have kicked them off).  That cherry tree was my territory.  It was my space.  It was where I could be safe from the storm.

While in college, there was a lovely little park called Greenough Park located in Missoula. There was a creek that meandered through the middle of Greenough Park called Rattlesnake Creek.  There were woods and islands in the park, an occasional black bear or fly fisherman, and plenty of space.  Weather permitting I would go for a daily walk through Greenough Park.  I would speak to myself and listen to the songs my soul sang.  I was a confused college student in my late teens, early twenties, but the park gave me space and time to figure things out.  I was safe amongst the creek, black bears, fly fishermen, and woods.

Continue reading Guest Post: Finding Space →

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Mar
11
2010

Lesbian Scare Cancels Prom in Mississippi

The following is in response to the Associated Press article: Lesbian teen back at Miss. school after prom flap

The Scoop

Photo released by Constance McMillen's family via The ACLU of Mississippi, taken in Fulton, MI

An article was just published in the news today about a girl in Mississippi whose homosexuality is suspected to be the cause of the school board’s decision to cancel prom.

Constance McMillen, an 18-year-old high school senior, knew that in the Itawamba County school district in which she lived, prom dates are required to be of the opposite sex.  Knowing that same-sex couples had been turned away from proms in the past, McMillen decided to approach her school’s officials to let them know that she was lesbian and that she hoped to bring her girlfriend to the prom and wear a tuxedo.

The officials told McMillen that she would not be allowed to arrive with her girlfriend, that she would not be allowed to wear a tuxedo, and that she would be asked to leave if she made other students “uncomfortable.”  A memo was sent out to the entire student body shortly afterwords, stating that (among other requirements) couples must be of the opposite sex at the prom.

The American Civil Liberties Union became involved, stating that it was McMillen’s constitutional right to attend prom with her girlfriend.  The ACLU subsequently demanded that the school board’s opposite sex policy be changed by March 11th.  Instead, the school board canceled the prom and issued the following statement:

It is our hope that private citizens will organize an event for the juniors and seniors…  However, at this time, we feel that it is in the best interest of the Itawamba County School District, after taking into consideration the education, safety and well being of our students.

Continue reading Lesbian Scare Cancels Prom in Mississippi →

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Feb
21
2010

New Publication: Coping with an Anxiety Disorder

I have just finished writing a new article on Anxiety Disorders.  They are more common than you might think, which is why I thought I’d share some information about them.

Anxiety disorders include well known conditions like depression, obsessive-compulsive, and phobias; however, there are many lesser known conditions as well.

If you are interested, believe you might have an anxiety disorder, or know someone who is coping with one, I encourage you to read the article.  Learning more has certainly helped me and I also included a list of resources that are available.

Click here to read the full article.

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Feb
14
2010

Love is Beautiful

Though I usually complain about my relationship status, I decided to go in a different direction.  I wouldn’t be so interested in getting into a relationship if I didn’t think it was worthwhile, so I thought I’d share some of the finds I’ve collected from the great and vast internet seeing as it is Valentine’s Day.

Some of these are very pretty while others contain some of my usual cynicism.  Although, all of them are enjoyable to me.  I hope you like them too.

Continue reading Love is Beautiful →

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Feb
10
2010

Guest Post: Settling Into Ourselves

The following is a guest post by Eliza Fayle, author of Silver & Grace.

We should not be content with our imperfection, we should merely work to make ourselves better than we were before.  -Street Saint

I absolutely agree with Street Saint’s assessment. To stop learning and growing is to stop living. But I’m going to add a caveat to this:

At some point, it becomes far less about striving to improve who we are and far more about settling into who we are.

I was at a fortieth birthday party recently, and most of the women there were around that age. They were all bemoaning moving into their forties. I silenced the chatter when I spoke up and said:

“I was thrilled to move into my forties, and now I am looking forward to fifty with eager anticipation.”

One of them finally recovered her voice and asked why on earth I would look forward to aging.

Courtesy of Eliza Fayle

My response? Because I am finally at a point in my life I get to simply be me. What you see is what you get.

Don’t get me wrong. I still have to tweak my thought processes and behaviors. But I consider it more of a maintenance process than a creation process.

I expended a lot of energy in my thirties figuring out who I was at my core. And a break up of a long term relationship in my early forties forced me to face some very real self-esteem fears. But, at the end of that process I came out knowing exactly who I am.

And I like me. A lot!

Continue reading Guest Post: Settling Into Ourselves →

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Feb
5
2010

Submit Anonymously

After having my anonymous correspondence, I have decided to amend a section to my contact page.  You may now click a link on the contact page which will allow you to send me a message completely anonymously.  Simply give yourself a nickname or pseudonym (or leave this blank), write a subject, and your message.  Your message will then show up in my mailbox as a message from an anonymous email address.  This way your identity is completely secret to me, so you can feel free to share whatever you like with me without consequence.

Here is the link to the Anonymous Contact Page.

Continue reading Submit Anonymously →

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Feb
5
2010

Anonymous Post: Thoughts of Suicide

Greetings all.  I have a new, but somber post to share with you all.  It is on the topic of suicide.

One of my most popular articles is on depression and some of the ways to cope with the condition.  Suicide is a slightly different, often more intense issue.  Though the two have many similarities (depression can often lead to suicide), having thoughts of suicide should be treated as perhaps a separate string in the fabric of mental conditions.

A friend of mine anonymously submitted to me a message on this topic.  In order to keep my friend’s words and identity intact, I decided to publish both the message and my response just as they were written (unedited by me).  The following is the message I received.

Continue reading Anonymous Post: Thoughts of Suicide →

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Jan
14
2010

Haitian Earthquake Relief

Wherever you are in the world right now, you have probably heard about the disaster that occurred in the Caribbean only days ago (January 12, 2010).  A massive, 7.0 magnitude earthquake hit the small country of Haiti near its capitol Port-au-Prince.  The destruction is still immeasurable, but the quake left hundreds (perhaps thousands) dead, and left thousands without homes.

Also, because the quake was so close to Port-au-Prince, the most populated city in the country, not only were homes destroyed, but many governmental buildings collapsed as well including the Presidential Palace.  Haiti, already one of the poorest countries in the world, needs serious help to recover from such a devastating tragedy.

Right now, there are still thousands of people in need of food, water, shelter, and medical attention.  The amount of global support that has been and continues to be focus toward Haitian relief has been fantastic, but there is still a lot that must be done.  The UN requests that only larger organizations with stations in and close to Haiti travel there right now, but these organizations need your support.

Street Saint is already partners with GlobalGiving.org who has a special campaign dedicated to disaster relief.  On the front page of the site is a link to “Emergency Earthquake Relief in Haiti.”  There you can choose the specific project you would like to donate to.

As the child of a Haitian family, I am closely effected by this tragedy.  Though most of my family lives in the United States, my relatives and others who are close to the family have connections to the country.  Unfortunately, there is only so much we can do to help our country; however, if everyone pitches in a little bit, the possibilities are numerous.

Please help in whatever way you can.  After all, we are all people and if we don’t help our own, who will?

::The image to the left is a link to the Global Giving Relief Fund for the Haiti Earthquake.  Please give if you can::

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Jan
3
2010

Male vs. Female Fashion

I was recently discussing what people consider the most fashionable male image.  The first thought that came to my mind is GQ Magazine.  The magazine’s cover often displays images of the most “fashionable” people of the time.  For further research, I decided to take a look at the GQ website.  I was immediately shocked by what I saw.

On the front page of the website, they displayed promotional images for their special New Years topics.  The first two were articles on the top male and female fashions of past years.  I had learned once that male figures tend to be displayed with close-ups of their faces while women’s whole bodies are shown.  Women, even in professional and business settings, are usually unable to avoid being represented by their bodies.  This is evidence of our society’s obsession with the female body image.

The first image I saw was for “The 50 Most Stylish Men of the Past 50 Years.”  The image was a close-up of Elvis Presley.  He wears a stylish suit, but only his face and shoulders can be seen.

The second image was for “The Top 10 Cover Girls of the 2000s.”  The image displays the woman’s whole body as is often the case.  However, if that wasn’t enough, she is also wearing absolutely nothing but a tie.

If you care to actually view the slideshows these images promote, you’ll find that the men tend to be well dressed and appear in a number of different poses and settings.  The female section, on the other hand, does not fall very short of being a soft-core pornographic photo shoot.  Each woman either flashes underwear to the camera, wears clothing that reveals a significant amount of skin or cleavage, or wears nothing at all.

It is no secret that women are more sexualized than men are, but would it be too much to ask that the places we turn to for fashion advice and current trends be more conscious of overt sexism?

It is now 2010, let’s try to be more self-aware this year.

::Images found on the GQ website 01/03/2010::

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