The following is a guest post by Ben Klempner, author of Effective Family Communication.
Space. It’s a commodity these days. We don’t typically think about it, but it is.
When I was a student at the University of Montana, there was a lot of talk about space. We spoke of important issues such as open space, closed space, creating more space, and the impact of limited space on our minds, bodies, and spirits.
Currently I am living with my wife and children in an apartment building. Space is limited. The kids don’t have enough space to run around, play, climb trees, and get into trouble without getting into trouble. Where I grew up, there was a beautiful cherry tree in the back yard. During a few weeks every spring she had the softest, most beautiful pink leaves I have ever seen. Her branches were just the right size for a young boy to climb them. I used to climb to her top branches where I had space and freedom. I was able to scale that tree in moments. One day I decided I didn’t want to go to school. I ran outside and climbed my cherry tree before any grown-up could catch me. I was safe on the tree. Her branches provided me all the space, comfort, and time I needed to be safe.
On another occasion I was being chased home by a group of bullies. Before they could catch me I climbed my cherry tree. Safe on her branches, the citified kids were too terrified to climb up (not to mention I would have kicked them off). That cherry tree was my territory. It was my space. It was where I could be safe from the storm.
While in college, there was a lovely little park called Greenough Park located in Missoula. There was a creek that meandered through the middle of Greenough Park called Rattlesnake Creek. There were woods and islands in the park, an occasional black bear or fly fisherman, and plenty of space. Weather permitting I would go for a daily walk through Greenough Park. I would speak to myself and listen to the songs my soul sang. I was a confused college student in my late teens, early twenties, but the park gave me space and time to figure things out. I was safe amongst the creek, black bears, fly fishermen, and woods.
There was a mountain next to campus called Mount Jumbo. Elk would graze on the gentle slopes of Mount Jumbo in the fall, winter, and spring. Mountain Lions would occasionally prey on the elk. There was a three hundred sixty degree view from the top (and it was a relatively easy hike to get there). While the Southern Slope of Mount Jumbo was grassy and open, her northern slope was densely wooded with fragrant Ponderosa and Lodge Pone Pines. Being in the open space (and not so open space) of Mount Jumbo’s woods and grassy slopes was a wonderful way to experience myself. It was there that I experienced the freedom to be me without anyone telling me who, how, what, why, where, or when to be. I simply was, and I was safe.
Many of the exercises and homework assignments I suggest to my clients involve taking advantage of open space. There is no better place to get back in touch with one’s self. Examples are:
Go for a walk along the beach.
Go for a walk along a riverbank.
Go for a hike in the woods, find a nice place to sit, maybe on a large rock or on a fallen tree, and spend some time sitting and taking in the music of the birds chirping, the leaves rustling, the wind chiming, the water tumbling, and we’ll discuss what you learned from the experience next week.
Go for a camping trip.
Go kayaking.
Go canoeing.
Go swimming.
Go to a large park and fly a kite or sit on the lawn.
Go to your local botanical gardens and sit with the flowers.
Go for a hike up a mountain or hill.
Go on a wildlife exploration.
Go for a walk on the prairie.
Go for a walk in the desert.
Go for a walk around your block.
Open space is perhaps one of the most therapeutic commodities we have. Psychotherapists give much care and consideration to arranging their offices so as to create a sense of open space within the closed confines of the therapy office. It is in open space that we are safest to experience, be with, and tend to our emotions. Where can we go today to be safe? Where are the woods and climbing trees from which we can listen to the song of our souls and learn from the voice of our intuition? I recently read a story about a family in the 1920s that used to go camping in Central Park. Now where can we find the parks we need to grow and heal? In today’s day and age we have less space than ever before and more mental, emotional, and spiritual illness than ever before. Let us go out and find the space we need to heal. Who knows, it may be in our own backyards…
Ben Klempner, LMSW, founder and editor of Effective Family Communication, trained as a social worker at the Barry University School of Social Work, in Miami Shores, Florida. He has worked with a large and diverse variety of peoples. His accomplishments include writing several books and helping individuals and families work through issues such as: Anger Management, Addiction Recovery, Marriage Counseling, Family Therapy, Career Counseling, Depression, Grief, Anxiety.
Follow Ben on Twitter at: http://twitter.com/effectivefamily.
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