What is Social Anxiety?

You may be wondering what I mean when I say I want to “conquer my anxiety.” What does he mean by anxiety? How does one conquer it? What does this have to do with finding a girlfriend?

That’s a whole lot of great questions, so I’ll answer them one at a time.

There are a whole lot of different anxiety disorders out there. As a matter of fact, I just wrote a new article about it: Coping with an Anxiety Disorder. You can find out more about the various types of disorders by reading the article. Read More…

February 21, 2010  Tags: , ,   Posted in: Conquer Anxiety  No Comments

Singles Awareness Day

Valentine’s Day, or as I often refer to it “Singles Awareness Day,” is fast approaching, and I only now realize what this means for my sanity. Allow me to explain:

The past few years on Singles Awareness Day (or SAD) have been pretty difficult on me emotionally for a number of reasons. Even though I sometimes had a good time on the day itself, it was usually that time in the year when I lost a lot of faith in myself. It has generally been the darkest periods of my year emotionally (save for one or two very extreme exceptions).

It occurred to me that Valentine’s day was a point when I gained a lot of hope for a future relationship which just never ended up happening at all. These realizations were especially crushing blows to my morale, and to this day are difficult to talk about.

But as a means of healing, and perhaps a way of moving on, I thought I’d relate some of the experiences I’ve had in the past. Read More…

February 11, 2010  Tags: , , , ,   Posted in: Stories  No Comments

Review: Youth in Revolt

Just saw “Youth in Revolt,” a film by Miguel Arteta, yesterday. The film is based on a novel by C.D. Payne of the same name and stars Michael Cera as the lead (Nick Twisp). The story is about Nick’s mission to win the heart of Sheeni Saunders (played by Portia Doubleday). The problem is, Nick is a nice guy and a loser.

I knew that I would enjoy the film after seeing the trailer because of the character’s vast similarities to my own situation: a nice guy, having no experience with women, little charm, little skill in flirting, but an unbearable desire to be with a particular girl who has no interest. I was especially drawn to the film because it stars Michael Cera, one of my all-time favorite actors. Read More…

January 9, 2010  Tags: , ,   Posted in: Reviews  No Comments

Method #5: No More Mr. Nice Guy

Dude with Red SweaterYou heard me, I’m doing away with my nice guy tendencies. Well, not really…

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about past relationship failures and about my current situation with “Samira.” In the past, I’ve both cursed my nice guy lifestyle and embraced it. What I am starting to think now is that I need to distance myself from it.

I’ve read a lot of advice from “pick-up artists” and “dating gurus” and the like and they all say that being a nice guy is a first class ticket to perpetual bachelorhood. I have and continue to disagree. Though I have yet to find relationship success being a nice guy, I am confident that it is possible. And instead of swearing off my nice nature completely, I have decided to strive for a happy medium. Read More…

December 14, 2009  Tags: , , , ,   Posted in: Methods  One Comment

Just My Luck?

So remember in my previous post when I was talking about how unlucky I am when it comes to relationships? Well, there was something I forgot to mention. Not only do I seem to lack any of the luck I usually have in my normal life when I am trying to court a girl, luck also seems to taunt me with the illusion of luck. Read More…

October 31, 2009  Tags: , , ,   Posted in: Find a Life Partner  One Comment

Just a Friend?

I’ve recently been thinking about the whole “just a friend” issue. Many nice guys complain that they are just friends and can get no further into a relationship. I’m starting to wonder what is so bad about being friends? Read More…

October 29, 2009  Tags: , ,   Posted in: Find a Life Partner  No Comments

Story Time: Childhood Trauma

In addition to the other changes I’ve made to the blog, I’ve decided to take a more lighthearted direction as well. I wanted to tell stories of my progress through each new goal; however, since this is a unique goal with such a long timeline, it is difficult to tell relevant current events. Instead, I’ve decided to share and analyze stories of what has happened to me in the past. Read More…

October 25, 2009  Tags: , , ,   Posted in: Stories  No Comments

And the Obsession Begins

I’m not sure if it is a quality unique to nice guys or not, but obsession often seems to be linked to the nice guy lifestyle. Nice Guys are known to become infatuated with a particular girl, which can cause a host of problems, depending on the severity of the obsession. Over the years, I have done well to limit this reflex; however, it is nearly impossible to “dream” of what would happen if one were actually to get involved with one’s crush. I’ve started to associate my failure to get into relationships to my obsessive crooning over one particular girl. Read More…

October 20, 2009  Tags: ,   Posted in: Find a Life Partner  No Comments

Eleven Stages of Nice Guy

This is my final Nice Guy article, at least for a while. This is essentially a compilation of the bulk of my research. I knew that not all Nice Guys were the same, but I also knew that Nice Guys changed. This article completes the study by discussing the latter.

It has been really fulfilling for me to write about the Nice Guy problem. Perhaps I will finish the anthology I started when I was younger. In any case, I’m glad the information is out there now. If nothing else, I hope that at least one Nice Guy will read these and get something positive out of it.

September 23, 2008  Tags: , , ,   Posted in: Articles  No Comments

Six Rumors About Nice Guys

An article on the common misconceptions about Nice Guys and what they have in common.

September 15, 2008  Tags: , , ,   Posted in: Articles  No Comments