Goal Revision: Find a Life Partner
I’ve done a lot of thinking (and I mean a LOT) about this “Find a Life Partner” goal of mine and I’ve come to the conclusion that it needs to be reworked.
Yes, I want to enter a relationship, but I don’t want it to be forced. I haven’t exactly been trying to force anything at this point, but something about striving to find a “life partner” seems a bit insincere. I don’t want my companion (provided I actually succeed) to feel as though I am only getting with her because of my goal. If that were the case, I could probably just go to some bar or club somewhere and ask out every girl I see until one says yes.
I don’t want to resort to that. I am a Nice Guy after all. Read More…
February 17, 2010
Tags: Anxiety, Dating, Goals, Relationships, Revision Posted in: Conquer Anxiety 
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Honorable Mention vol. I – Relationships
Hello and welcome! Street Saint proudly presents his very first Honorable Mention. The following articles were submitted to me from all over the internet. That’s a mighty long way to travel, so please do take a look at all of the submissions I received from last month.
January’s theme was relationships and relationship stories. After reviewing the submissions I received, the following articles struck me as the most relevant to the theme and the blog itself. Please enjoy! Read More…
February 1, 2010
Tags: Dating, Relationships Posted in: Honorable Mention 5 Comments
Method #6: You Don’t Have to Call
You know what has really bothered me much of my life? The tendency for people to fall into the thinking that there are a set of gender roles that we cannot break away from. For example, who says a guy has to be the one to pay for dinner? Or that he is supposed to pick the girl up and not the other way around? I suppose it has an evolutionary basis and men are naturally supposed to court females. Guys do tend to have more trouble getting women interested in them, so it makes sense that they are expected to pamper a romantic interest.
Those matters don’t bother me so much (perhaps they would if I were more successful in finding a date), but what really gets me is the expectation that men must ask out women. I’ve met a lot of women who felt it wouldn’t be appropriate to ask a guy out. Generally speaking, if they did they would be more successful than if I guy did. Men would love to be asked out. However, a lot of girls say that they would feel uncomfortable doing so. My response is, “Now you know how we feel…” Read More…
January 21, 2010
Tags: Dating, Phone Number Posted in: Methods No Comments
Relationships Blog Carnival
To celebrate the coming of the new year, here is the first Street Saint hosted Blog Carnival! The following articles were submitted to me over the past month by bloggers all over the internet. The theme of the carnival was relationships, both good and bad. Here are the relationship stories and advice I received from around the blog-o-sphere. Read More…
January 1, 2010
Tags: Advice, Dating, Relationships Posted in: Honorable Mention No Comments
Losing Faith
So I sent “Samira” a message asking her to meet up. I had an entire plan made up in my mind with exactly what I would say when she responded. I wanted to talk to her in person, but I rarely see her now. I was pretty confident that everything would work out. We might not end up together, but we’d at least see each other. However, that was all dependent on her responding back.
Unfortunately, it’s been over 24 hours and I’ve still heard nothing from her. Why does this happen? Whenever I feel I’ve figured everything out, everything finds a way to slip out of my grasp. All I needed was a response. Any response would have been just fine. Even if she said, “I hate you, leave me alone,” at least I’d know how she was feeling. Now all I can do is speculate. Read More…
December 18, 2009
Tags: Dating, Rejection, Relationships Posted in: Find a Life Partner No Comments
How to Lose A Guy in 10 Seconds
This one is mainly for the ladies, but guys can learn a whole lot from this as well. This post is a pretty long one, but there’s a lot of good stuff in it, so you may want to read the whole thing. In short, I overheard a great conversation on the subway today, and I thought I’d share what I gathered from it.
There was a couple sitting across from me and they were with a female friend. The woman (for our intents and purposes will be named Woman) was telling her friends (the Boyfriend and Girlfriend) about how she had just been asked out by a friend of hers. What hooked me into the conversation is when she said, “Really, he’s the nicest guy, but I just…” At that point, I didn’t even try to look like I wasn’t paying attention. Read More…
December 17, 2009
Tags: Communication, Dating, Men and Women, Relationships Posted in: Stories One Comment
Method #5: No More Mr. Nice Guy
You heard me, I’m doing away with my nice guy tendencies. Well, not really…
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about past relationship failures and about my current situation with “Samira.” In the past, I’ve both cursed my nice guy lifestyle and embraced it. What I am starting to think now is that I need to distance myself from it.
I’ve read a lot of advice from “pick-up artists” and “dating gurus” and the like and they all say that being a nice guy is a first class ticket to perpetual bachelorhood. I have and continue to disagree. Though I have yet to find relationship success being a nice guy, I am confident that it is possible. And instead of swearing off my nice nature completely, I have decided to strive for a happy medium. Read More…
December 14, 2009
Tags: Advice, Dating, Flirting, Jerk, Nice Guy Posted in: Methods One Comment
Emotional Paralysis
One of the issues I struggle with is something I call socially onset emotional paralysis. At first I thought I was the only one with this problem, but I’ve found in talking to others, that this is more common than I originally thought. Emotional Paralysis occurs most often in introverted people and many people also link it to depression, but I believe anyone can have this “condition.”
There are many different ideas about emotional paralysis and how to define it; however, it is most commonly associated with the inability to form or express one’s emotions. It is associated with depression because depressed people often have trouble showing or feeling emotion. Socially Onset Emotional Paralysis (we can call it S.O.E.P) is similar to this, but refers to a more specific disposition. Read More…
December 12, 2009
Tags: Dating, Depression, Emotional Paralysis, Introversion, Relationships Posted in: General No Comments
Back to the Dating Game
Since I’ve been busy with my random acts of kindness, I haven’t been able to give many updates about my main goal: to find a life partner. Although there haven’t been a whole lot of updates I can give, there have been some promising developments.
Just for the sake of convenience, I’ll give my current crush a name: let’s go with Samira. Samira and I seem to be making a strong connection. I can sense from her by the way that she looks at me and talks to me that she likes me. I hope this is in the sense that she thinks I’m attractive; although, she could just like me as a friend. She seems to be comfortable around me, which is probably what I enjoy the most about her. Read More…
November 28, 2009
Tags: Advice, Dating, Flirting, Relationships Posted in: Find a Life Partner No Comments
What Not to Change
I’ve mentioned that it is important not to change your personality; although, it is okay to make smaller or more targeted changes to yourself. People, like me, who find it difficult to get into relationships will often ask for advice from friends. Unfortunately, a lot of people tend to give poor advice when it comes to dating or flirting.
For example, people (especially young people) will often suggest that their friend join them at a bar or club. This is all well and good, but if you’re someone like me (I don’t drink and rarely dance), going to a bar or club may not be the best thing to do. Thinking about it logically, if you are the type of person who normally avoids these places, what are the chances you will find someone you can identify closely with there? Sure it’s possible, but not likely. Read More…
November 9, 2009
Tags: Change, Dating, Flirting Posted in: Find a Life Partner No Comments