Archive for the ‘Methods’ Category
Method #6: You Don’t Have to Call
You know what has really bothered me much of my life? The tendency for people to fall into the thinking that there are a set of gender roles that we cannot break away from. For example, who says a guy has to be the one to pay for dinner? Or that he is supposed to pick the girl up and not the other way around? I suppose it has an evolutionary basis and men are naturally supposed to court females. Guys do tend to have more trouble getting women interested in them, so it makes sense that they are expected to pamper a romantic interest.
Those matters don’t bother me so much (perhaps they would if I were more successful in finding a date), but what really gets me is the expectation that men must ask out women. I’ve met a lot of women who felt it wouldn’t be appropriate to ask a guy out. Generally speaking, if they did they would be more successful than if I guy did. Men would love to be asked out. However, a lot of girls say that they would feel uncomfortable doing so. My response is, “Now you know how we feel…” Read More…
January 21, 2010
Tags: Dating, Phone Number Posted in: Methods 
No Comments
Method #5: No More Mr. Nice Guy
You heard me, I’m doing away with my nice guy tendencies. Well, not really…
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about past relationship failures and about my current situation with “Samira.” In the past, I’ve both cursed my nice guy lifestyle and embraced it. What I am starting to think now is that I need to distance myself from it.
I’ve read a lot of advice from “pick-up artists” and “dating gurus” and the like and they all say that being a nice guy is a first class ticket to perpetual bachelorhood. I have and continue to disagree. Though I have yet to find relationship success being a nice guy, I am confident that it is possible. And instead of swearing off my nice nature completely, I have decided to strive for a happy medium. Read More…
December 14, 2009
Tags: Advice, Dating, Flirting, Jerk, Nice Guy Posted in: Methods One Comment
Method #4: Physical Contact
I had a pretty lucid dream last night that my crush came up to me randomly, sat on my lap and started talking to me affectionately (You can tell I’m pretty obsessive about all this because I’m starting to dream about her). Naturally, I would love for this to happen in real life, but what I learned from this is that what I am really looking for is the physical contact. Nothing is more exciting to me than to be in contact with an attractive woman. Even if it’s as simple as an arm around the shoulder. Read More…
November 6, 2009
Tags: Emotion, Flirting, Physical Contact, Shyness Posted in: Methods No Comments
Method #3: Change Without Changing Yourself
My next piece of advice has to do with the fine line between making yourself open and attractive to people, without changing your personality or natural habits. As I have stated, if you change yourself you not only jeopardize any relationship you form, but you also make things more difficult for yourself unnecessarily. However, this does not mean you cannot change certain things to create opportunities for yourself. Read More…
November 1, 2009
Tags: Advice, Change, Dating, Flirting Posted in: Methods No Comments
Method #2: Penalty
This is my system: in order to improve my communication skills I will attempt to assert myself more frequently. If I have something to say, but fail to say it due to timidness, that will be considered a “penalty.” I have a bracelet that I always wear and any time I fail to speak my mind, I will switch it from my right wrist to my left. Every morning, I will reset the bracelet back to the right. The goal is to go three weeks without having to switch. Read More…
October 24, 2009
Tags: Change, Personality Posted in: Methods No Comments
Method #1: Approachability
Now that my first goal is squared away, I wanted to take some time to go over methods. I mentioned that a lot of finding a compatible person requires some amount of waiting; however, waiting for 200 days is not a very compelling thing to do. Instead, I’ve decided to employ some techniques to perhaps help the process along. It may end up being like an experiment to see which methods work and which ones do not. Read More…
October 20, 2009
Tags: Goals, Openness, Relationships Posted in: Methods No Comments