Archive for the ‘Find a Life Partner’ Category

Singles Awareness Day

Valentine’s Day, or as I often refer to it “Singles Awareness Day,” is fast approaching, and I only now realize what this means for my sanity. Allow me to explain:

The past few years on Singles Awareness Day (or SAD) have been pretty difficult on me emotionally for a number of reasons. Even though I sometimes had a good time on the day itself, it was usually that time in the year when I lost a lot of faith in myself. It has generally been the darkest periods of my year emotionally (save for one or two very extreme exceptions).

It occurred to me that Valentine’s day was a point when I gained a lot of hope for a future relationship which just never ended up happening at all. These realizations were especially crushing blows to my morale, and to this day are difficult to talk about.

But as a means of healing, and perhaps a way of moving on, I thought I’d relate some of the experiences I’ve had in the past. Read More…

February 11, 2010  Tags: , , , ,   Posted in: Stories  No Comments

Missed Opportunities, Part Deux

I get incredibly frustrated when I have an opportunity and fail to take it. The last time I talked about Missed Opportunities is when I explained how I’d come up with a great plan that never works because I already missed my chance. I also know that there are times when I could certainly take advantage of an opportunity, but don’t because of some fear in myself.

Just earlier today I was to plan a workshop for the church group I co-organize. The group has been going through a period of low attendance lately, so I prepared myself for the possibility that only a few people would show. The workshop I had in mind was low-key, but it did require at least four or five people (including me) to be there. Unfortunately, it ended up being me and one other person. Read More…

January 22, 2010   Posted in: Stories  No Comments

Method #6: You Don’t Have to Call

You know what has really bothered me much of my life? The tendency for people to fall into the thinking that there are a set of gender roles that we cannot break away from. For example, who says a guy has to be the one to pay for dinner? Or that he is supposed to pick the girl up and not the other way around? I suppose it has an evolutionary basis and men are naturally supposed to court females. Guys do tend to have more trouble getting women interested in them, so it makes sense that they are expected to pamper a romantic interest.

Those matters don’t bother me so much (perhaps they would if I were more successful in finding a date), but what really gets me is the expectation that men must ask out women. I’ve met a lot of women who felt it wouldn’t be appropriate to ask a guy out. Generally speaking, if they did they would be more successful than if I guy did. Men would love to be asked out. However, a lot of girls say that they would feel uncomfortable doing so. My response is, “Now you know how we feel…” Read More…

January 21, 2010  Tags: ,   Posted in: Methods  No Comments

Back to the Drawing Board

I was hoping to get a definitive yes or no from “Samira” before Christmas, but it looks like that’s not going to happen. As I mentioned, I’m basically calling it quits with Samira and moving on. If she were interested in me, she would have let me know by now, or at least spoken to me.

Seems like a terrible way to start the holiday season: back to square one in my pursuit of a relationship. However, I’m focusing on the positive. First of all, I have the rest of the month and most of January free, so I’ll finally have some time off. This semester has been pretty rough, and I’m glad it’s over with. Next semester will be much more relaxed (at least, it should be), so that’s another plus. Read More…

December 22, 2009   Posted in: Find a Life Partner  2 Comments

Losing Faith

So I sent “Samira” a message asking her to meet up. I had an entire plan made up in my mind with exactly what I would say when she responded. I wanted to talk to her in person, but I rarely see her now. I was pretty confident that everything would work out. We might not end up together, but we’d at least see each other. However, that was all dependent on her responding back.

Unfortunately, it’s been over 24 hours and I’ve still heard nothing from her. Why does this happen? Whenever I feel I’ve figured everything out, everything finds a way to slip out of my grasp. All I needed was a response. Any response would have been just fine. Even if she said, “I hate you, leave me alone,” at least I’d know how she was feeling. Now all I can do is speculate. Read More…

December 18, 2009  Tags: , ,   Posted in: Find a Life Partner  No Comments

How to Lose A Guy in 10 Seconds

Subway ArrivesThis one is mainly for the ladies, but guys can learn a whole lot from this as well. This post is a pretty long one, but there’s a lot of good stuff in it, so you may want to read the whole thing. In short, I overheard a great conversation on the subway today, and I thought I’d share what I gathered from it.

There was a couple sitting across from me and they were with a female friend. The woman (for our intents and purposes will be named Woman) was telling her friends (the Boyfriend and Girlfriend) about how she had just been asked out by a friend of hers. What hooked me into the conversation is when she said, “Really, he’s the nicest guy, but I just…” At that point, I didn’t even try to look like I wasn’t paying attention. Read More…

December 17, 2009  Tags: , , ,   Posted in: Stories  One Comment

Method #5: No More Mr. Nice Guy

Dude with Red SweaterYou heard me, I’m doing away with my nice guy tendencies. Well, not really…

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about past relationship failures and about my current situation with “Samira.” In the past, I’ve both cursed my nice guy lifestyle and embraced it. What I am starting to think now is that I need to distance myself from it.

I’ve read a lot of advice from “pick-up artists” and “dating gurus” and the like and they all say that being a nice guy is a first class ticket to perpetual bachelorhood. I have and continue to disagree. Though I have yet to find relationship success being a nice guy, I am confident that it is possible. And instead of swearing off my nice nature completely, I have decided to strive for a happy medium. Read More…

December 14, 2009  Tags: , , , ,   Posted in: Methods  One Comment

False Alarm

So there has been a slight change of plans…

I mentioned in my previous post that I would tell “Samira” how I felt and make some serious progress with my goal. However, as I feared, a wrench has been thrown into the perfect set-up I’ve put into place. I mentioned that Samira was supposed to be at a particular place at a particular time. She had said she could make it, unfortunately something came up and forced her to cancel.

As I said, I was almost expecting something like this to happen. It seems as if, whenever I plan something like this, it goes horribly wrong. I suppose her canceling was the least tragic thing that could happen, but it does make things more difficult. “Now what do I do?” Read More…

December 11, 2009   Posted in: Find a Life Partner  No Comments

Planning Something Big!

So, I was going to keep this secret, but I think it’s important that you all know what I have in the works since it can greatly effect my main goal. In short, if all goes well, I could perhaps put an early end to the “Find a Life Partner” goal. However, that’s only if everything goes according to plan.

I don’t want to give away exactly what I plan to do just yet, since it is a surprise, but I will let you in on the important parts. Right now, I’ve already asked “Samira” to be at a certain place at a certain time. I asked her to be there just as if I were asking any other friend, so at this point she is still in the dark, just as you all are. Essentially, I am going to make it clear to her, in as suave a fashion as I can, how I feel albeit in a rather “dramatic” way. Read More…

December 9, 2009  Tags: , , ,   Posted in: Find a Life Partner  No Comments

Joyful Times!

Yesterday was a fantastic day and I’m feeling pretty good about myself. As I had mentioned when I went back to the dating game, I was going to try a new strategy on my crush, Samira (not her real name). I would get really close, and see how she would react.

Unfortunately, I didn’t necessarily do this. I had some opportunities, but circumstances made it difficult. In one instance, I purposefully chose to sit in a seat that would put me right beside her. However, I had gotten up for a moment and when I returned someone else had taken the seat. I didn’t want to make a fuss about it, since seating wasn’t assigned and I hadn’t clearly marked the seat as my own. Read More…

December 6, 2009  Tags: ,   Posted in: Find a Life Partner  2 Comments