The Final Assessment
I apologize for not delving deeper into what’s been going on with me and my quest for an anxiety-free (or moderately anxiety-free) life. I admit that some of my posts have been vague, and my methods unclear. The main reason for this is that my methods have indeed been unclear (even to me!)
The process of recovery from an anxiety condition is a largely individual process. You can have allies, companions, and aids, but no one can really share your experience. No one can point you to exactly what you need to do to get better. It really depends on your own personal needs. That’s why there are so many different methods psychologists, psychiatrists, and self-help gurus promote: each one works for certain people and perhaps not for others.
My Methods
For me personally, I relied primarily on self-reflection. I began writing in a journal, reading about and listening to other people’s stories/advice and applying the insight to my condition, as well as simply reflecting on my ways of coping with difficult experiences.
I think the most effective method was looking at my own coping mechanisms and determining the reason for them. This allowed me to more easily notice when I used these particular behaviors and find different ways of handling the situation.
As an example, with my social anxiety I would try to avoid lengthy conversations. I determined that this behavior arose because, in childhood, I disliked when others would judge or place a certain value on my personal views, thoughts, and desires. Because of this, I would refuse to give any revealing information about myself, even to people I trusted.
After recognizing this and determining that the behavior was irrational, now that I am more comfortable with myself and my beliefs, I began to notice myself falling into these patterns in conversations. People would as me how I am and I would respond, “Alright,” “Okay,” or “Good.” And though it is normal for people to respond this way occasionally, this was my set response to any question asked about me, even when I had more to share.
In order to move away from this set response, I resolved to say more when I actually had more to say. At first I would fall into my pattern when asked about myself and say, “good.” Then after noticing my lack of depth, I would add more, “I had a long day at work, but I feel like I got a lot accomplished.” As I practiced more and more, I was able to move away from my set responses to questions.
Using this method of noticing a behavior and coming up with simple ways to change it has helped dramatically. In fact, I believe it was the single most effective technique I used.
The New List
I suppose the true test of my growth will be reflected in how many notches I’ve crossed off of my list of goals. Here is the list:
- Speak Audibly
- Initiate Conversations/Greet Others Strangers
- Hold Conversations
- Arrange to Meet With People Acquaintances/Send Invitations
- Make Phone Calls
- Make Physical Contact
All in all, I think I have succeeded. Admittedly, I have not worked as much on initiating conversations as I would have liked to. I still believe my anxiety has a tight hold over me when it comes to starting conversations cold. Although, I have been able to hold conversations with people (even unfamiliar people) much better now. I have even lost my fear of one-on-one conversations (which used to terrify me)!
Though, besides initiating conversations, I have managed to achieve all of the other goals I set out for myself. I have been able to invite others to get-togethers, I am more comfortable making phone calls, and I even managed to work on physical contact. And though I still have a lot of work to do in order to really become comfortable in these areas, I have moved to a point where each of these actions is tolerable. I still have to think about each action before I perform it, and talk myself out of my fears, but I don’t have any problems doing so. Eventually, I expect to reach a point where I no longer have to think about these things before I do them.
Courtesy of Jessye Herrell
The Results
After 80 days of anxiety work, I can safely say that I’ve moved away from being “socially anxious” to simply having a shy temperament. I say that I can “safely” make this determination because I originally diagnosed myself with the condition in the first place. Putting on my “psychologist” hat, I would say that I am not “cured,” though I am effectively managing my condition to the point that it no longer gets in the way of my ultimate goals.
Which is GREAT news because I have so many more goals to achieve! The first one being to learn a new language (details soon to come, STAY TUNED!).
That being said, I am going to call this project a job well done. And I couldn’t be happier with myself!
SUCCESS!
If you would like more information about my road to social anxiety recovery or would like suggestions for your own recovery, feel free to contact me. I am more than happy to give my advice.
Related posts:
- Spring Break Reflection
- Road to Victory
- Anxiety Goals
- The Benefits of Introspection
- What is Social Anxiety?
May 5, 2010
Author: Street Saint
Tags: Anxiety, Goals, Social Anxiety, Success Posted in: Conquer Anxiety
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