Anxiety Update
Hey everyone! Thought I’d let you all know about something I just realized.
So I just graduated from college last week (HOORAY!) and my parents came up for the ceremony. Over dinner we got on the subject of my social anxiety. My mom mentioned that I tend to shy away from making eye contact (something she says I picked up from her). I’m considering making an amendment to my “Conquer Anxiety” goal to include eye-contact because I didn’t realize I was so bad at it and I think it’s important.
In any case, something else that came up was the question of whether I am “shy” or not. My step-father had mentioned offhandedly that I was still shy, but have come a long way, to which my dad responded: “Eric’s not shy.” He then referenced the many times that I would volunteer to speak in front of audiences, perform on stage, or sing in public.
This got me thinking about my true temperament. I had always considered myself shy, but I never thought about this how this contradiction seemed to play into things. To which I started to think, Maybe I’m not actually “shy” at all!
I then did some thinking about shyness. What exactly is it? And how does it differ from social anxiety?
Shy vs. Introverted
I came to the conclusion that anxiety, shyness, and introversion are three completely different things.
Shy lies on a spectrum with Outgoing. When someone is shy it means that they tend not to desire to be in public spaces where there is a lot of people, strangers, or commotion. Shy people are perfectly content having a few good friends and staying in, away from crowds. Outgoing people, on the other hand, cannot live without the large crowds and commotion.
Similarly, Introversion lies on a spectrum with Extroversion. An introvert is someone who feels more comfortable in tamer scenarios. They may enjoy going to parties and events with a lot of people and stimulation, but need time to themselves to “recharge.” Extroverts are the opposite and become restless when they are alone or do not have the heightened stimulation.
None of these four factors have any inherent flaws. They are simply different temperaments people might have. A person who is extroverted may be more likely to be outgoing as well; however, it is possible for someone who feels more comfortable in large groups to avoid these scenarios. This might happen for any number of reasons. When the avoidance of these situations becomes so extreme that it interferes with the person’s ability to do what they want, then it is considered social anxiety.
“Shy” is generally used as a blanket term for anyone who tends to avoid social situations. The main reason for this is that most people don’t realize these subtle distinctions, and frankly, shy or anxious people aren’t speaking up for themselves. That’s why they all tend to get lumped together.
My Self-Analysis
For me, I’ve found that I am an introvert, but at the same time, I am also outgoing. I prefer being with large groups of people and love to meet strangers; however, I often need time to unwind on my own. My anxiety also causes me to second guess myself in social situations, forcing me to feel uncomfortable when I actually want to be.
This is where it can get a bit confusing. Though I have social anxiety and I am an introvert, I am not a shy person.
After clarifying these distinctions in my head and determining where I fall in the equation, I decided to test my anxiety level. I found what is called the Liebowitz Social Anxiety Scale which supposedly can give an indication of how anxious you are. I took the quiz to see where I would fall.
And to my great surprise, I scored a 32. According to the quiz, scoring a 55-65 is considered moderate social phobia and anything bellow that is negligible. In fact, a little message even popped up saying “You do not suffer from social anxiety.”
Needless to say, I was astounded! Me? Free of social anxiety? I guess all of my efforts actually paid off. 
And though this is exciting, a quiz is just a quiz. A simple questionnaire can’t really be the deciding factor of whether or not I have social anxiety disorder. After all, I still know there are a lot more things I would like to improve upon (starting with my lack of eye contact).
In any case, I now have a somewhat legitimate reason to say that my last goal was actually a success. Unfortunately, I didn’t take the test prior to starting my goal, so I don’t have a bench mark, but this is good enough for me!
SUCCESS!
Related posts:
- What is Social Anxiety?
- Anxiety Goals
- Spring Break Reflection
- Road to Victory
- Goal Revision: Find a Life Partner
May 26, 2010
Author: Street Saint
Tags: Anxiety, Extroversion, Introversion, Shyness, Social Anxiety Posted in: Conquer Anxiety
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